Knowledge of Knowing

Most of us believe they know the people around us. But do they?

It happened so, that I don’t even know what happened. I lost a friend, a friend I shared quite a few of my secrets with, a friend I believed would last a lifetime. I would imagine us 10 years from now, as successful professional people, who are extremely comfortable with each other, and sophisticated for the world.

But it took just a few seconds for it to all shatter into pieces. So much, as to break my idea of basic trust. Although somewhere inside I do feel that the friend I made was sincere enough that he would keep my secrets, and won’t exploit me in front of others.

However, I don’t completely trust myself on that thought either.

Here’s the thing, I don’t know what happened, it happened so quick, all I remember is feeling extremely disappointed at something he said, and I don’t even remember what he said. And now that I think of it, the truth is I was wrong; I was wrong to trust someone in so less a time period. People say that time in friendship doesn’t matter. And, yes, to some extent that is true, but in this case, time could count, if I had given this bond some time, maybe, I wouldn’t have said so much, and the friendship would be over without me being in ‘life and death of respect’ situation.

But then their are those relationships that go on for years, and yet you feel like you know nothing of that person. You are bound to free ideas you have of them. Your imagination constructs their personality which is ideal to you. These relationships are so blind, one only sees the best from far. The attachments are worst than virtual reality. Because their is no “reality”.

I fell in love with the idea of a person, with his faults and his goodness. But neither those faults or goods were real. They were all a big mesh of ideas. And here’s the thing, sometimes imagination is happiness. And some relationships are better off, without physical contamination, and with a lot of boundaries. You never know how much of the person you love is just made up in your mind, and how much of them are real. Thus stepping back and enjoying your visuals is a good option. Although it might never show you reality, but it will sure keep you happy


Why I Draw

I recently read an article, about the writer telling why he writes. And it was amusing to know that he wrote for 6 years straight with almost no follows and no public eye.

His blog although on the web, was untouched by anyone’s sight.

That got me think, why do I draw…

I really don’t know…  I started drawing as a child. I used to draw in my school books, behind my exam papers and once in a while, our teachers asked us to make posters for school notice boards or parent teacher meetings etc.

So that was the start. And also the only time when my art was not contaminated of greed. Now that I have come to think of it. Back in my childhood, i drew to increase my skills, I wanted to do realistic work, I just wanted to get better, I just wanted to draw.

But, now, I want to sell my drawings, I want to make a lot of them as quickly as possible, and sell them off for more than they are worth. And somewhere in this greed, it seems that my work lost its gist, my paintings seem lifeless, motionless, as if they were actually done in a hurry.

And i guess that is exactly what they mean when they say greed is bad, your life becomes lifeless.

The kind of photo realism, I wish to do requires patience, and observation, it requires an eye for detail, and I am the opposite of patience, I am impatient.

No wonder patience is the key to success, and in my case it really is.

To step up the drawing game, get some patience and use you sense of sight. Take it from someone who has neither.

For all of us to be inspired.

Richard Estes, Jone’s Diner, 1979, oil on canvas.